When You Fall Down... Get Back Up!

I suppose I have watched the movie, “The Help” ten times. It’s one of those movies which never grows old, and always captures my interest.

There are several well-known, and accomplished actors in the movie, but among them Viola Davis has to be my favorite, (and one of my favorites of all time). While this African-American actress hasn’t yet seen her 50^th birthday, she tends to play parts which depict her as a woman of a half century or more. (And for all of her innate beauty, and in spite of her dazzling smile, she wears “an old beyond her years” look in her eyes).

In the movie, Viola characterizes a black maid in segregated Mississippi who, among her other duties, supervises the pre-kindergarten daughter of her employer. In a couple of poignant scenes, and again when she is discharged as a matter of spite, and for something she didn’t do, “Aibileen” bends down to stare her little charge in the eyes, and assures her, “You is smart. You is kind. You is important.”

Life has a way of knocking us down. And too many of us have been knocked down too many times.

Reminds me of a piece I once saw on live television.

Former Attorney General Janet Reno was being interviewed on one of the morning shows, and was given the opportunity to share some of the trials and triumphs of her job in the Clinton administration.

Perhaps the most profound, unique (and God-awful) experience Miss Reno endured in her role as Attorney General was related to the Branch Davidian cult, subsequent fire, and the loss of dozens of lives. As the result of an investigation into the tragedy, she was roundly criticized by members of congress, and called to task by members of the media.

Having discussed this particular topic and others, the newsperson transcended rote topical matter and brought it down to the raw emotional level.

“And so, Miss Reno, considering Waco, and other difficult events during your tenure, what was going on in your heart and mind?”

The former Attorney General didn’t miss a beat.

“Well, honestly, it seemed I was always caught in between serving the President, (and being the best I could be in the role he nominated me to do) and pleasing 535 senators and congressmen.”

The anchor lady nodded, and asked a follow up question.

“And so, help me understand how it made you feel.”

Miss Reno smiled a whimsical smile, and responded,

“Well, it’s ‘damned if you do. And damned if you don’t!’”

Not letting up, the interviewer offered one more remark.

“But tell us how you really feel.”

At this point, an involuntary grimace appeared on the lady lawyer’s face.

“To tell you the truth, I’m getting tired of being damned!!!”

We’ve all been there. When we’ve “been damned” enough times, it becomes exceptionally difficult to keep getting back up.

A year ago I experienced something so utterly profound, so dismally overwhelming, so abjectly depressive in nature that it rocked me to the core. And that something involved the loss of a valued relationship. (Honestly, I’m not altogether over it yet). And I can so well relate to the words of our former Attorney General.

I think very little has the wherewithal to shake up your own personal little world than the loss of a relationship. And I believe very little diminishes one’s self-worth, and causes one to question the reasonableness of hanging out on this planet than the loss of a relationship; especially when such a loss offers no apparent understanding.

But no matter the cause or the source of the thing which has knocked us off our feet, we MUST get back up. To do otherwise is unacceptable, no, unimaginable. And if we’ve been hurt, or feel misunderstood, it’s important to factor in Time and Truth.

Overcoming and accepting loss WILL take Time. And arriving at a proper understanding of the Truth, i.e., properly understanding the cause, or the potential benefit of a loss, often requires the perspective of time; (and possibly, the aid of a trusted friend or counselor).

Marilyn Monroe, (of all people) bequeathed you and me a wonderful legacy; one which transcends diamonds, or green paper with dead presidents pictures.

…Her words.

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

WHEN YOU FALL DOWN... GET BACK UP!!!

By William McDonald, PhD. Excerpt from "(Mc)Donald's Daily Diary" Vol. 4